so its already almost hump day!

Well im kindof glad its the middle of the week, im so ready for the weekend, this weekend we are REALLY celebrating for my birthday!!! Im excited, so I didnt finish on wed, so its actually thursday and so many things (not really) have happened...Let me update you, so i was kind of longdistance, thing with my old manager at dw. And it wasnt working out, its like when you finally have something and its not what you want...its weird, i think i have a lot of figuring out to do and since ive come back from dw i have.

ok, so i guess i should explain about the manager we can call him rsn. I met him while working at dw and i thought i was in love with him, btw i use that term a lot, especially while intoxicated, im learning that maybe i need to refrain from saying that cause i get myself in trouble or others fall in love. So back to rsn, so we started dating, but i was happy cause i thought i like this guy and he had potential. but then i got to know him, hes a nice guy, but needy, so i backed off and he became only more needy, then i came home and well we had this long distance thing. Basically this is the second long dis relationship ive had, i am forever veto-ing them. They dont work, people really show their true colors when all you can do is talk over the phone. and basically thats what happened. I want someone here who is a cowboy, jk. but you know that i can see on a regular basis and doesnt involve planning. plus he was too needy for me, i think at one point in the relationship i was like are you the girl or am i??? it was nice though but at times really annoying, he wanted to control me, and have me check in and when things didnt go his way he was mad and upset and throw tantrums. I didnt like that. So we grew apart, at least i did and he tried to solve things by coming to see me, which made things worse and made me realize that its no bueno. hes a nice guy but not for me. well we just ended it today, i am relieved and thats not how you should feel when you and someone else break up. but its a good thing.
so no word from the goat rider, i think that is one mistake that i hadnt made but needed to make and can forever cross off my list of things to do before i get married or commited into a serious relationship that could lead to marriage. my feelings are extremely hurt at this time, but tomorrow is my birthday celebration and im gonna party and forget the goat rider. a friend of mine told me i have a free pass this weekend cause its my birthday. so back to what else has happened...

oh yeah, well schools school, i actually am considering becoming a waitress at a bar, but my mother wouldnt have it. During the summer i plan on going extra crazy and taking like as much school hours as i can get in. i plan on volunteering and getting some hours done so i can receive another as degree before i finish my ba.

I ate lunch with an old friend and realize that its different then when i knew her, knew her.I think everyone has those friends. Those people that you used to be really close to, then you go one way and the other person goes a completely different way and there is this silence that needs to fill in the gap. Its weird how people change. Some for the better, some for the worse, and some well are still trying to figure out themselves. I hope that when people see me that i am for the better, but honestly i think im still trying to figure out myself. i feel like i want so many things in life, that sometimes its there i can see it, but i am just too damn short to get it. Like this boyfriend/relationship thing...me getting older, i feel like i should have one or a potential cause im older i need to start settling down. not too long ago i had one and then it was all wrong, but idk. then there is this school thing, that ive been working on forever, but i am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, still thinking to myself, is this what i want to do for the rest of my life? Thats scary. Maybe i am still confused and still need to grow up more, maybe i have a young soul and its not time yet. Idk. I ponder these things frequently. At the same time, i think i still have forever to live and enjoy life. I have this friend that has a deadline til when she wants to get a boyfriend, i think its kindof silly, but can you put a timeline on love?

I think ive been trying to answer this question since i was 21, i feel like you have to achieve things by a certain age, but as ive grown or my numbers in age increase, i think im just setting myself up for failure. Like if i dont accomplish this by 25, then something is wrong with me or i am disappointed with the situation itself. there were times, and i believe that people who know me, can say that i have sent a great amount of time concentrating on me being old. but i dont really believe that im old, i dont look it and i dont feel it (except when i drink and i get sick and it takes days to recover) but other than that i feel fine. then again deep down inside, the ugly age monster comes out, only while intoxicated, and reminds me that im old, and not married, no boyfriend, no degree. ugh, that age monster. this is what i mean, timelines should be omitted especially if you are trying to accomplish things in life. every time i am reminded of my timeline, i am disappointed. so i think my new goal for me getting older is to forget about that timeline, and just live. and when someone asks how old i am, im just gonna say old enough to drink!!!

My First Birthday Weekend

So this weekend was intended to be a slow and calm weekend...That didnt happen though. It happened to actually be a very eventful weekend, so I can start with Friday, when the weekend started. I am currently not working, so during the week Im pretty much by myself and just do normal stuff like workout and go to school, all my friends work during the day, so when the weekend comes I get all excited cause its so out of the norm for me. So Friday, well I had planned on just going to watch movies, eat cheese dip, and have one rita.
Well we started off watching Twilight, which by the way is a great movie, I was impressed and want to read the book so that I can find out what happens next in the movie, btw I also heard that the book was much better then the movie...so yeah, well while watching the movie, I received a text message from this guy I am crushing on, his name is the Goat Rider (not really his name, but I have nicknames for everyone, this way unless you know me know me, you will know who I am talking about) so he basically asked me to go and see a movie at his apartment after I watched Twilight.
I was so excited, this guy has been giving me the run around for a while now, I am extremely selective about the guys I like so this one I want to have stick around, but he is so weird, like I hadnt heard from him in about a month, we went on a date, and then I hadn't heard anything from him since the day before my bday, I think weird, we have good communication with each other, funny, smart, and seems like an overachiever, so Im impressed although, hes still weird. So Im there with him watching this movie and we kiss and its cute, but weird. (Basically the Goat Rider is weird, and Im attracted to that for some reason, and I think that it gets me in trouble) lol. And i stay the night and he cuddled me all night, it was so cute, Im falling for this guy...We wake up the next morning and I'm thinking this sucks, I like this guy, hes basically perfect, not that great looking but you know I'm attractive to him, he amazing, but I'm not gonna hear from him again, hes gonna disappear from me, like he does but not in a jerk way, I know how is he not a jerk (Let me give you a heads up on the goat rider, he doesn't like to text message back, he seems to take his time). So yeah, he walks me to the door and gives me a little kiss. I'm smitten. What is wrong with this guy, so I was wrong he text the same day and I responded and basically I'm still waiting...
So back to this weekend, that was how my Saturday started, totally awesome by the way but, I went to a friends house and we went mini-golfing, hung out at snoopy's, which by the way was not that exciting, see, I like to eat at snoopy's its good food, fun atmosphere, except I am terrified of seagulls, so when we sat outside I was terrified of one pooping on my head...So it was fun, but then these kids started at the seagulls, and all the seagulls swarmed around and I told my friend "we have to go, one of these birds is gonna poop on us," we left and started our Sangria Saturday!!!
Sangria Sat., basically the best idea ever, sangrias, fruit, and friends. We made a pit stop and visited an old friend of mine, which happens to cook super good, Lulu, and hung out there, I also introduced him and his fam to Sangria Sats, which we all drank together, it was a great time and great idea. Still haven't heard from the goat rider, i think he is officially a lost cause...
So all in all great weekend, hopefully I get some kind of lead for a job, maybe Ill hear from a the goat rider (more than likely i wont), get ready for this next weekend, I am getting all my friends together cause we are gonna celebrate my birthday (a whole week later, friends were out of town), I'm excited to see what the week brings to me...
Now its toward the end of the day and im very distraught about the goat rider, he hasnt called i gave in and sent him a text message and still no response. i guess i just need to get over it...

My Birthday

So today was my 26th birthday, weird, right! I woke up early and didnt seem to have much of a productive day. It was scarey turning 26 and in some weird way Im not sure if I can used to saying that I am that age. I know that age is nothing but a number but geeze, I am feeling like I havent gotten too many things accomplished. When the day started I woke up and was thinking to myself, what will I do today, Ive noticed that as Ive gotten older I feel like birthdays arent as much fun...It seems just like another day of life to me. So i somewhat wanted to celebrate, like go and have some drinks or something like that, but realized all my friends have grown-up jobs, we are not allowed to party and celebrate during the week, jk, but more like ummm...I am not excited about this being older. I went to eat with some friends for lunch and then dinner with the family, the highlight of my day was when my stepdad asked the waiter how old I was and he thought I was 21, I was like Yay!!! Sure Ill be 21 again!!! So yeah, getting older is not any fun, when I was 21 (forreal) I figured I would be done with school, married, at least one kid on the way, and some sort of a career. But now Im this age and think, omg, I dont have anything accomplished.
On another note though, I have had a lot of fun and have had many life experiences...So I think that in many ways that equals out??? But I am mostly content with my life and what I have done, but at the same time I feel like I need to start rushing the process of things...All day I have analyzed the what ifs...where is my life going and why is it taking so damn long. But then again, why am I in such a rush? People keep telling me Im getting old, as far as numberwise, but I dont feel old, I feel young and I def dont look it, so what exactly is this number everyone is so concerned about? A guy friend of mine told me a few weeks back that I was too old to even be considered for a date, that guys like girls that are young, more like 21ish...I was offended and somewhat concerned at the same time...Jokingly I mentioned I would eventually be a cougar, a hot one prowling on young guys, lol. But Ive noticed that all the guys I meet are a bit younger that I am and have no problem with me being 25, now 26. A good friend of mine, Kelsey, told me that I should lie about my age, and now I think that I am really taking that idea into consideration. heehee.

Me

So this blog is about me...I was talking to a very dear friend of mine and she blogged all the time about our previous experience working for Disney world, so thanks Kelsey, shes the one who got me into this. I'm name is Monique Vela, I am now 26 and am new to this whole new blogging experience thanks to Kelsey. I was talking to her the other day and thought this might be a good idea, like some sort of journal that would be saved, without the wasting of trees...

So about me, I was born and raised in Corpus Christi, TX and up until last May was the first time I left. So where can I start...I have a small family, one mom, stepdad, a little brother and sister. I am not too close with my fathers side of the family but am slowly getting to know them after not knowing them or seeing them after 10 years. I am currently enrolled in school, I am currently enrolled in UIW and am finally almost finished...I have an associates degree in Human Services, I really dont know what that does, but Im hoping one day it will help me out, so I am currently trying to finish my 4 year degree and think that I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I recently came back from Florida, which was my first experience living away from home and texas...I miss it very much and actually left early cause I thought I missed it here. No regrets but I want to go back...to me it really is the most Magical Place Ever! I think that that whole experience has taught me a lot about myself and the person what I will grow up to be. I met this really great person there, Kelsey and since then we still keep in touch and talk and still have our inside jokes that no one seems to understand. But back at home I am surrounded by wonderful friends that I cherish very much. You may ask why would anyone just randomly go to florida? Well thats how I do it, one minute I was here in texas and the next (like one month later) I was in Florida, pretty random, it was like I woke up and said Im moving to Florida (thats really what happened). But I left to try and figure some things out, which I think I have accomplished. I think in a way I was trying to escape from people, see where I am from its very small everyone pretty much knows everyone and so I had my heartbroken and decided that going away and meeting new people was the thing to do. Which worked. Thats the best solution for a broken heart.

So now Im back in Texas, where I still cant find a job, and Im still going to school. This economy thing is starting to have more of an impact closer to home, Ive been looking for over 3 months and havent had any luck, boo! So this is just kindof an intro to me.